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DEAR ABBY: A close female relative hosts "parties" quite often. When she sends the menu for each of us to choose what we would like to make, she states that all the recipes must be dairy-free, cheese-free, butter-free and soy-free. She is the only one among us who is on a special diet.
I agree that a few of the dishes should cater to her needs, but all of them? It really limits what we can make and inhibits some from bringing their "specialty." Some of us feel she's behaving in a very self-centered manner and that it's wrong because she's drawing all of the attention to herself.
Isn't expecting 30 people to eat at the party based on her diet too much? She sees nothing wrong with it. When I invite her for dinner, I prepare something for her, but the rest of the meal is for the entire group. What is our answer here? -- LIMITED IN THE EAST
DEAR LIMITED: If others feel the way you do, the answer is to tell your relative the truth -- that what she's asking from her guests is too much. Her behavior does seem excessively controlling. I can see her asking a few guests to prepare something taking into consideration her dietary restrictions, but frankly, I'm surprised so many people have been willing to continue to participate in these potlucks. From where I sit, they're a lot to swallow.
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